bored beyond belief #36 – Teresa’s Lament
October 18, 2008
Listen here [12:00]
It’s Teresa Ortega’s birthday phone call.
Part 1:
She’s feeling older. She’s entered into the “time of life”.
Teresa’s laments about menopause:
- She’s gotten it earlier than when she thought it would happen.
- Menstruation – It’s more convenient, but not cured.
- Visiting witch doctors for cures.
- She started menstruation at 10 years of age.
- Her girlfriend got started with the menopause later.
- Hysterectomies and her uterus is ours.
- Very tired…The reproductive system is breaking down like a camp site.
Part 2:
Menopause is different for the lesbians.
Get those bits out of there
It feels unfair to go through all of the bleeding if you’re not going to have kids.
Lesbians had children in different ways in the past.
The Family Unit is a source of evil in the world.
Sarah Palin is evidence of how far women have come.
Annoyed how people speak about Palin in the media.
Pet peeve about how the media make Palin out to be sexy.
Betty White + Obama
As long as they can read.
Parts 3:
Teresa’s charitable thoughts about children.
She’s did not come out as a lesbian so that she could go on a cruise with lesbians and their children.
Child hater.
Incidental music.
Peggy Lee – “I Enjoy Being a Girl”
Outro:
I’ve been busy, busy, busy…just like you.
You can now reach me at the bored beyond belief listener’s phone line: 206-350-7630
October 19, 2008 at 12:45 am
Hey Theresa , Skip the witch doctors , my fiancee sent me too a specialist for menapause ..200 for the office visit !! 150 for the nero science spit test!! 65.oo for the compound drug !! yes mam !! it didnt work !! the only thing that was worth it , was finding out i had a vitamin d deffiency !! night sweats , hot flahes !! anxiety , forgetting everything !! i do take tons of vitamin supplements , eat heathy , and now taking premerin from my obgyn ..good news i see a new obgyn that is up too date , and does the science test , she is my old obgyn ..tg ! my heath coverage covers it!! happy birthday!! Welcome too HELL !! Menapause only gets worse!! Most interesting blog!! Joe I hope your going too do a blog on politics !!! Please ..love susan
October 19, 2008 at 2:13 pm
So, Susan what was your experience like with menopause?
Omigod, I’m glad I don’t have to have menopause!!!
I know you want me to do the politics podcast, but I’m too busy to do it right. We mention Palin and Obama in this podcast?
love, Joe G.
October 19, 2008 at 4:18 pm
well joe !! we all know who i am viting for obama.biden2008
October 19, 2008 at 8:57 pm
I would never have guessed!
October 20, 2008 at 1:07 am
I’ve never heard of this “spit test” Susan, but it sounds like the level of sophistication I’ve come to expect from our health care system. Thanks for the birthday wishes, and for the welcome to hell. No wonder I feel so warm.
October 22, 2008 at 1:02 am
Happy Birthday Theresa! I want to get your a used garment from the Pope that you can use as a lesbian relic of some sort. Your into the Pope, right?
October 22, 2008 at 4:48 pm
Yes, Peterson, I am into the Pope. I hear he has a special Vatican-exclusive outfitter, too, which would make any garment you could obtain extra special. However this Pope is so into himself I’m sure he dabbles in other brands. He’s no doubt got some Versace undies under that robe.
October 23, 2008 at 12:28 am
Happy birthday Theresa!!! On the menopause front, I truly feel your pain. It’ll get better soon.
October 23, 2008 at 10:12 am
All these comments for Teresa proves to me that she truly is a “superstar” of bored beyond belief.
Thanks for stopping by Judy, p2son, and Susan!
love,
Joe
PS: Glad to read that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel in regards to menopause, Judy!
October 23, 2008 at 10:11 pm
when does the relief come lol..its been 4 years !!
October 24, 2008 at 1:09 am
Thanks, Judy! I’m glad to hear your perspective about menopause getting better. Right now I’m thinking of it as being similar to going through puberty but without as much public humiliation. I figure if I got through puberty I can get through this too.
October 25, 2008 at 3:23 pm
I think a womans period is one of the things that feeds the non-theist in me (it’s a constant wrestling match for me between belief and questioning). My best friend is an opera singer. She get’s this hellacious (doesn’t begin to describe it) PMS every 25 days that Hitler himself could not have contrived. I am in awe of this woman because I know what she has endured in her life, yet she is an angel. Every 25 days she has to do battle with the devil himself. I think it is small wonder that JudeoChristian beliefs have labeled the ‘cycle’ a curse.
lower case paul
October 25, 2008 at 7:41 pm
Go with the non-theist line of thinking, paul. Any self-respecting loving God would not do this to half of his children!
What I’m proud of is that so many women feel comfortable enough to comment about menopause on a guy’s podcast!
I think Teresa brings out the best in others…
October 26, 2008 at 7:32 pm
Happy Birthday Teresa and thank you for sharing your day and thoughts with us. This was a wonderful podcast. It was like having coffee with a good friend. That song by Peggy Lee was a true pleasure. Where the hell did you find that thing Joe?
October 27, 2008 at 8:47 am
I found it while trying to find another version of the song by Phranc. I couldn’t find Phranc’s version, but then I found Peggy Lee’s and went with that. Glad you liked the song and the chat with Teresa!
October 28, 2008 at 12:40 am
Hello lower case paul,
What you said about your opera singer friend made me think about how nobody ever talks about women being especially capable because of the skills needed to manage menstruation every month.
Teresa
October 28, 2008 at 12:43 pm
Teresa,
Yes, precisely. As here friend the most I can do is ensure she is not alone when the demons come knocking, but I can’t help trying to be a problem solver. Not being able to help (reality check) makes me feel guilty. So we discuss this topic every 25 days. Her last session was particularly grueling, so I broached the topic of hysterectomy. She doesn’t want kids either, so I asked. As it turns out, as a professional singer you can’t just start cutting down there without it effecting your voice… not to mention surgery is a pretty extreme thing regardless of whether you sing for your living.
It’s like every 25 days a woman has to go to prison and be tortured for 5 to 10 days. I know it varies in intensity, etc., but like the prison experience you never quite know what to expect. Is your torturer feeling friendly today? Is the torturer hung over and going to take it out on you? Who do you blame for this? Seems a pretty extreme punishment for eating an apple, that can’t be right….
It seems to me that the fortitude needed/developed to keep from going looney is the bigger challenge and accomplishment.
October 28, 2008 at 3:54 pm
Thank you for the birthday wishes, laughingbaba. I’m glad you enjoyed the podcast.
October 30, 2008 at 8:11 pm
I can’r believe that you did an entire feature on Teresa’s menopause. I’m so jealous!! Can we do an interview about my prostate?
October 31, 2008 at 12:33 pm
Brian Prime, your comment is so typically masculinist.
November 1, 2008 at 3:51 pm
Brian Prime,
Has your prostate gone wack? If you think it’s going to give you ten years worth of problems, yes, I think it deserves an entire show. And by the way, we did not just talk about my menopause, we gave some thoughtful airtime to my maternal instincts, remember?